COUNSELLING
By Douglas Turner
I believe that if you feel there is someone listening carefully
to you with some respectful understanding of your feelings
then you begin to believe you are worth hearing, that you
deserve some attention; that you are worth it.
I approach counselling in the belief that you have the
answers to your unhappiness and in telling me about what
is wrong you will hear the beginning of a way forward.
Together we can build on that beginning until your world
changes from an unhappy to a more hopeful place, And in
that hopeful place you have some coping skills should you
need them again.
ABOUT COUNSELLING
If you are physically ill there is usually a good chance
you can be cured with the right diagnosis, correct prescriptions
and careful nursing. If an accident leaves bits of you broken
then bones can be set, plaster support applied and in time
therapeutic exercises will enable those parts to function
again. This we understand, can observe and test.
However, we do not give the same attention to the invisible
hurt that can accompany illness and accident, loss and unhappy
life history. The invisible hurt is not as straightforward
as physical illness but it is as real. There is emotional
internal bleeding going on long after the event that triggered
it. There is an equivalent to scar tissue that restricts
movement and numbs feelings. There is a whiplash effect
of panic, depression and self-doubt.
Counselling seeks to address this invisible hurt: to heal,
restore, renew. Counselling like medicine is a broad church.
lt has it's own jargon and contention within it's ranks
about the interpretation of symptoms and what makes for
effective treatment.
For me, the most deceptive, the most demanding and the
most effective form of counselling is called Person- Centred.
It is most deceptive because it sounds easy. It is not
built on a vast theoretical base. It values instinct and
attitude alongside intellectual ideas. Because it has no
prescriptive formula but instead an insistence on rigorous
integrity it is particularly demanding. It's success depends
on the counsellor removing the equivalent of the surgical
mask, the rubber gloves and some of the professional distance.
So what might it be like for you on the receiving end of
Person- Centred counselling? Mixed feelings I'd guess, some
unexpected. perhaps anger and frustration because you are
hurt and want advice and answers and you do not get them.
Maybe frustration that this listener is not critical of
those that have hurt you and not shocked by what you have
done. Sometimes surprise that in the first time in a long
while you are being listened to carefully and your feelings
are being taken seriously. Eventually even a bit amazed
that your life can be changed because you were able to talk
and putting feelings into words for another to hear is the
beginning of managing them for the better.
This is what you and your counsellor will work towards-
the outcome, the product. But there is also something else
going on that affects the healing - the process. This is
the time you spend with your counsellor, what goes on between
you. The message you should be getting from this safe stranger
in this secure place is an assurance that you are worth
taking seriously, that your concerns are real ones. Here
is someone who sees strengths in you when you cannot and
is optimistic about your future when you do not believe
you have one. And yet you believe this counsellor is sincere
and has some insights. So maybe you begin to realise they
are seeing in you someone you dimly recognise from way back
before you were so knocked about. Someone with a little
more confidence, a little surer of where they are going.
About the Author:
DOUGLAS TURNER
After a wide experience of Further and Adult Education,
I am now concentrating on Counselling, Training and Supervision
in a private capacity.
My supervisory experience encompasses individual work with
counsellors and Diploma students and group supervision in
the voluntary sector.
I have taught counselling at certificate and diploma level
and will shortly be moderating courses for the A.B.C. (Centra)
Examining Body.
I have been counselling individuals for some ten years
with a Person-Centred approach informed by T.A. and some
Cognitive notions.
...it helps to be heard..
COUNSELLING
TRAINING
SUPERVISION
DOUGLAS TURNER M Ed. Dip.Ad.Ed.Dip.Counselling.
B.AC. Accredited Practitioner
Tel. 01926771447
Email: turner@oneill.spacomputers.com
