Bereavement - Infant Death
CHILD DEATH HELPLINE
A Helpline for all those affected by the
death of a child
To lose a child is the most terrifying and devastating
experience any parent has to bear and in the UK alone 12,000
children under 19 die each year. Thousands more young adults
in their twenties and thirties also die and grief is no
less intense for the surviving parent(s) of an “adult
child” of any age.
The affect of the death of a child upon all members of
the family may be far reaching and life long with many others
not of the immediate family also badly affected eg:- school
friends, teachers and emergency services staff
The Child Death Helpline is a partnership between professionals
and trained volunteers, virtually all of whom are bereaved
parents, who offer befriending and emotional support to
others who have suffered a similar experience.
The following comment was made by a bereaved parent who
wished to express her thanks to the organisation for the
befriending and support she had received:
“The Child Death Helpline offered a pocket of time
and a climate of safety that was entirely for me. It was
my opportunity to talk openly about my son’s life
and death.
I needed to continue to talk about my son and to express
the raw powerful emotions that would overwhelm me unexpectedly.
I felt weighted down. How was I going to cope? During Child
Death Helpline conversations I did not feel that I had to
edit my conversation or worry what the person listening
may be thinking. Being able to identity with someone who
recognised, accepted and reassured me that what I was going
through was normal, gave me hope that I would myself one
day gradually move away from the raw emotions and feelings
of despair that I was experiencing. I cannot imagine sharing
my experience or feeling so accepted by a non bereaved parent.”
The common link between volunteer and caller is the feeling
surrounding the separation of parent and child. Because
Child Death Helpline volunteers have experienced these feelings
and difficulties themselves it enables them to reassure
callers that the physical and emotional feelings they are
experiencing generally fall within the normal range. Anger,
guilt, remorse and regret can torment the bereaved parent.
Many fear that they may be going mad.
It is very comforting to talk, have a good cry, and describe
the worries and the emotions that can wash over them, or
return unexpectedly after many years around the time of
a birthday or anniversary. Grief is not rational and imposes
enormous pressures both on individuals and family units.
It is unrealistic to expect families to return to normal
when it seems their lives have been shattered. They have
lost the future and the past. Their hopes and dreams have
been snatched from them. The thought of never seeing, holding
or talking to their child again is almost unbearable.
The Child Death Helpline operates jointly from Great Ormond
Street Hospital in London, and the Alder Centre in Liverpool.
The Child Death Helpline is staffed 7 nights a weeks from
7pm to 10pm and on Monday, Wednesday and Friday every week
from lOam to 1pm and the number is:
Freephone 0860 282986
We do hope this information will be beneficial to any person
affected by the death of a child with whom you come into
contact. If you would like more information or literature
concerning the work of the Child Death Helpline, or would
like someone to talk to a group of colleagues about any
aspect of our work which you may feel would benefit you
within your professional area, please contact:
The Bereavement Services Dept
Great Ormond Street Hospital
Great Ormond Street
London
WC1N3JH
Tel: 0207 813 8551
Fax: 0207 813 8516
Email: Child
Death Helpline
or contact
The Alder Centre
Alder Hey Children’s Hospital
Eaton Road
Liverpool
L12 2AP
Tel: 0151-252 5391
Fax: 0151 252 5513.
