Person-Centred Counselling
By Douglas Turner
I believe that if you feel there is someone listening carefully
to you with some respectful understanding of your feelings
then you begin to believe you are worth hearing that you
deserve some attention; that you are worth it.
I approach counselling in the belief that you have the
answers to your unhappiness and in telling me about what
is wrong you will hear the beginning of a way forward.
Together we can build on that beginning until your world
changes from an unhappy to a more hopeful place, And in
that hopeful place you have some coping skills should you
need them again.
ABOUT COUNSELLING
If you are physically ill there is usually a good chance
you can be cured with the right diagnosis, correct prescriptions
and careful nursing. If an accident leaves bits of you broken
then bones can be set, plaster support applied and in time
therapeutic exercises will enable those parts to function
again. This we understand, can observe and test.
However, we do not give the same attention to the invisible
hurt that can accompany illness and accident, loss and unhappy
life history. The invisible hurt is not as straightforward
as physical illness but it is as real. There is emotional
internal bleeding going on long after the event that triggered
it. There is an equivalent to scar tissue that restricts
movement and numbs feelings. There is a whiplash effect
of panic, depression and self-doubt.
Counselling seeks to address this invisible hurt: to heal,
restore, renew. Counselling like medicine is a broad church.
lt has its own jargon and contention within its ranks about
the interpretation of symptoms and what makes for effective
treatment.
For me, the most deceptive, the most demanding and the
most effective form of counselling is called Person- Centred.
It is most deceptive because it sounds easy. It is not
built on a vast theoretical base. It values instinct and
attitude alongside intellectual ideas. Because it has no
prescriptive formula but instead an insistence on rigorous
integrity it is particularly demanding. Its success depends
on the counsellor removing the equivalent of the surgical
mask, the rubber gloves and some of the professional distance.
So what might it be like for you on the receiving end of
Person- Centred counselling? Mixed feelings I'd guess, some
unexpected. perhaps anger and frustration because you are
hurt and want advice and answers and you do not get them.
Maybe frustration that this listener is not critical of
those that have hurt you and not shocked by what you have
done. Sometimes surprise that in the first time in a long
while you are being listened to carefully and your feelings
are being taken seriously. Eventually even a bit amazed
that your life can be changed because you were able to talk
and putting feelings into words for another to hear is the
beginning of managing them for the better.
This is what you and your counsellor will work towards-
the outcome, the product. But there is also something else
going on that affects the healing - the process. This is
the time you spend with your counsellor, what goes on between
you. The message you should be getting from this safe stranger
in this secure place is an assurance that you are worth
taking seriously, that your concerns are real ones. Here
is someone who sees strengths in you when you cannot and
is optimistic about your future when you do not believe
you have one. And yet you believe this counsellor is sincere
and has some insights. So maybe you begin to realise they
are seeing in you someone you dimly recognise from way back
before you were so knocked about. Someone with a little
more confidence, a little surer of where they are going.
About the Author
DOUGLAS TURNER
After a wide experience of Further and Adult Education,
I am now concentrating on Counselling, Training and Supervision
in a private capacity.
My supervisory experience encompasses individual work with
counsellors and Diploma students and group supervision in
the voluntary sector.
I have taught counselling at certificate and diploma level
and will shortly be moderating courses for the A.B.C. (Centra)
Examining Body.
I have been counselling individuals for some ten years
with a Person-Centred approach informed by T.A. and some
Cognitive notions.
...it helps to be heard..
COUNSELLING
TRAINING
SUPERVISION
DOUGLAS TURNER M Ed. Dip.Ad.Ed.Dip.Counselling.
B.AC. Accredited Practitioner
Tel. 01926771447
Email: turner@oneill.spacomputers.com
Person Centred Counselling A Case Study
BY PATIENCE O' NEIL
Before I begin to work with someone, we have a meeting
to check each other out in terms of what each of us is expecting
& what the process could involve – me explaining
how I work with the Person Centred approach, and how a counselling
contract is framed, & our respective roles in the therapeutic
alliance – the prospective client explaining what
she is looking for, expects to happen & how the process
may help or not. Also, importantly, as we sit in each other’s
company, we get a sense of “does the face fit”;
can I imagine trusting/ being trusted by this person?
At this meeting, we decide whether to begin working together
or not. If not, I would make suggestions about other possible
counsellors to contact. If yes, then we discuss & agree
on the terms of our working contract, which includes the
initial number of sessions, costs, cancellations, commitment,
and confidentiality.
Here is a case study to illustrate how the Person Centred
counselling process works. I shall call the client Jo, not
her real name.
Jo came over as a calm, down to earth & practical person
in her mid thirties.
However, as she began to tell her story what emerged was
someone stuck in a deadlock with no spontaneous way forward.
Jo was in the process of changing – in the way she
experienced herself, how she felt about her role as worker
& parent, what felt genuine – which was exciting
& opened up new horizons. However, Jo’s family
members hadn’t opted for her to change, in fact the
opposite, they wanted the person they’d always known
in her normal role. So familiar family routines became zones
of tension, anger & recrimination.
Jo felt she was faced with an impossible dilemma. Should
she give up on the newly found journey of self discovery
in order to maintain the status quo with the people she
loved & had built a life with? That choice would provoke
feelings of pretence & resentment in Jo, which could
undermine family life.
Should Jo pursue her personal journey & try to persuade
other family members to change along with her? This choice
would be perceived as provocation & lead to an escalating
climate of anger at home, so that nowhere felt safe.
Person Centred counselling is built on various key ideas
which we can link to Jo’s situation to explain the
process. Firstly, the goal is to become a fully functioning
person, harnessing the innate life affirming force within
you– the self actualising tendency. Jo had absorbed
messages during her growing up called conditions of worth
– as many people do – saying you are only worthwhile
if you do as you are told, or please your parents, or put
other people first, for example. So, as an adult Jo can
only feel good about herself when these conditions are met
– she will have created adult relationships based
on these conditions. Allied to this is the idea of locus
of evaluation, which means the place where Jo evaluates
herself from – does she have the power within herself
to believe she is worthwhile? Or does she believe the learned
childhood messages & feel that her partner has the power
to define her worthiness?
In order for Jo to get in touch with her self actualising
tendency, she needs to gain the power within herself to
believe she is a person of worth & discard the learned
conditions of worth. Then Jo can choose the best course
of action for herself.
So how did the therapeutic process unfold? Our initial contact
was for six sessions & then a further six.
In the first stage Jo told her story & I tuned in carefully
to her world, her experience of it, her dilemmas & pain.
This includes noticing what is not said, & contradictions.
Part of the therapy is for Jo to tell me, a dispassionate
ally, all about the turmoil that has been raging inside
so that she can let go of it, gain some distance from it,
explore the perspective of other people involved, and be
affirmed as valid in having these feelings.
In the next stage, Jo & I return to the dilemmas, the
“ought & “should”, so that Jo can
explore within the safety of the counselling space, what
would happen if… how would she feel if… what
does feel most authentic… where do these learned messages
come from & can she discard them now in the light of
who she is now ? What are Jo’s emotional resources,
& priorities?
In the last stage of our work together, we move towards
an ending at an agreed date. So we review insights gained
& current feelings & Jo has the opportunity to check
out what she would like to do & is able to do. My role
is ensuring that Jo has accepted her own capacity at this
time to take up her chosen course of action.
And so we finish.
Patience O’Neill
About the Author
Patience O’Neill
I have been a freelance counsellor & supervisor for
ten years, working from a Person Centred perspective, informed
by concepts drawn from a psychodynamic approach. My founding
belief is that each person has the potential to become whom
she or he would like to be & with the support of the
therapeutic alliance can get in touch with that person.
I combine my freelance work with my role in a Further Education
College co-ordinating a counselling training & a teacher-training
programme. I consider that these two aspects of my work
complement each other.
Qualifications:
BA Hons English & American Literature, PGCE, Diploma
in Counselling, Certificate in Psychodynamic Psychotherapy
& Group work.
Phone: 01926 771447
